I guess my analysis did come out true. Not bad though.

Back to square one. Sighs

Since when was I a quote reblogger person? I miss those old times when I keep reblogging lame and funny stuff. The funny person in me is dead. :(

A short getaway is really nice before poly life starts. D:

Yknow sometimes it's really strange that a person younger than you can knock sense into you. It's so obvious but I am really oblivious to it or maybe it's just me being delusional about it. Funny how life works.

Well, I seem to be the wrong dude in the wrong time and the wrong area.

But no, you just can't pretend it all didn't happen. It'll cause a mental breakdown and your personalities will crash really badly.

Today just feels different because of this sudden feeling to change. And also because it is one of those rare moments where I just can't take the stress anymore and I sat crying. I don't care if it's a unmanly action or wussy thingy because I really feel better after it. Who else can comfort yourself when there's no one around, it's you yourself who can do it.

Sometimes when you mix around with the same kind of people for too long, you get comfortable and tend to show your true colours. And when you get too comfortable, that's where it all starts to go downhill and you have to restart all over again. Never learnt my lesson all these while. How foolish.

Maybe there is an unexplained reason behind it. I hope it is a good one.

Such weak control I have over my attitude, kinda forced some people's boiling point to go off the charts and the rest is history.

Aaand the exam season is back. Usually, there will be weird random events that is going to happen during this period and I really want to see what is it this time round. Why does this always happen? I too can't explain why.

I really am clueless about this and it sucks.

My friend once told me that I'm too loyal. Isn't that a good trait? Hmm no?

It's time to open the door to let opportunities come in. I've been closing the door for too long and it's really getting lonely.

Was it all a lie? I really don't understand it until now

How far are you willing to go?

Tick tech toe

Maybe one day, I will have the courage to really talk to you

Looks like I have become the guardian. So I will wait.

What is this uneasy feeling?

I have this urge to really go overseas for my internship programme. I'm scared but I really want it so badly. Suddenly I don't look forward to the local ones. Urgh decisions. :S

It's not right to see her past. What she left behind were all for a good reason. So I should just stop it and just forget about it. Oh Aziz why did you do this in the first place? Sighs

How far can one's patience go?

Maybe I'm gonna give it a rest. I mean who knows, maybe it was never true.

Overthinking will be the death of you.

I know you are disappointed with me as a son. I can feel that. So I will disappear.

People hate interference. I understand it well.

Out of all the people whom I thought would even know my Islamic birthday, except myself that is, was Dani. Wow. That's really amazing considering what happened during that period of time. So I'm officially 18. Hmm, have I really lived to be the person I imagined when I was young? I sure do feel that I at least accomplished some of what I wanted.

Think happy, be happy! :)

How do you achieve total happiness?

Ever since the incident that happened to my dad while he was in Korea, his arm has been injured until now. Really sad to find out that his tendon at the shoulder was torn and there's no chance of healing back. So he just needs to take care of it and maybe go for therapy. Mum told me that it's now time to take the role of my father in time to come. I still need time to adjust but I have to do it at an even faster pace. I hope I can do it well. :/

Now I know why he hated me. I was never a smart friend to begin with. And because I was nice to everybody.

Some people are just meant to be best friends and nothing more.

I seem to have forgotten how to do it. This is the problem of being comfortable with something for too long. You forget the basics. I guess I have to restart from square one. It's gonna be a long road ahead.

Technology never fails to cheer me up in the darkest of times. It has this unexplainable feeling and I really hope it keeps cheering me up in the future. C'mon, people can be obsessed with anything. So mine is tech. Nuff said. :)

It's time to call good game. How long can the nuker last against a late game hero? It's about time Razor. About time.

Watched The Perks Of Being A Wallflower just now. I must say, it is really a good movie. It shows a story of how someone can overcome his shyness and also his past to be a better person by making friends along the way. The romance between Charlie and Same was really unique. Love these lines from the movie too "We accept the love we think we deserve" and this "We are who we are for a lot of reasons. And maybe we'll never know most of them. But even if we don't have the power to choose where we come from, we can still choose where we go from there. We can still do things. And we can try to feel okay about them"

Why is the situation I am in now is strangely familiar? It's like I have been through 3 cycles of this before with each of them greater than the previous. A maximum point or minimum point will happen vice-versa and then back to normal. :/

Why are you so mysterious yet charming? Maybe that's your specialty. Hope to see you around again someday. :)

Abandonment is seriously frowned upon in the community. The punishment is to be in a low-priority pool till the system decides to reinstate you back to your usual position. Scary much.

Well, tomorrow's the day! A new term awaits! It's a new Aziz man. jeng jeng jeng. hmm what other things to blog about before the busyness take over me? oh yes, the analysing thingy I promised myself. Looking at the situation, I feel that there's nothing much I can do though. Better to leave now and wait for something to materialize.  Meh. Alright, have a good day y'all! :)

Today's ruqyah workshop really opened my eyes and showed me things that I thought is not much of a concern or attention. Firstly, the part where ustaz said about iman. It then dawned upon me that you have to ensure that it is fortified, that's a strong word there. Stronger than strong. So, I think I have to start somewhere, improve my life and also be the successor to my father  Frankly speaking, he's not going to be here for long and it's up to me to carry the role that my father once used to hold. I feel that the time to start on this journey is now, before maybe something decides to reside in me and prevent me from doing as said. Scary though but nevertheless have a good day. :)

Why is this sudden heart pain coming back? Okay this is really scary. I am scared though. :/

4 more days! Mixed feelings though. I hope some of them change for the better. If not, it's another semester like the previous one. Who knows, maybe there's a couple of new adventures or people I would meet! Heh

I call it the Panadol effect. Whenever you have a headache, the next thing to do is ask for a Panadol because it helps to soothe it. And that's bad if you start getting too reliant on the temporary cure. Hmmm

6 days more and I think I have made some progress on this thought that has been bugging me. There are two event points. One on the day school starts and another which will happen in approximately a month. I will monitor these two events and then after gathering data, something needs to be done.

Am I seriously that boring to be around with? What have I done? Bleah.

One more week till school starts. 7 days left to do some decision making and get ready for the new round of competition.

Gaming my life away. Kinda sad isn't it?

Life is one hell of a journey that makes us stronger. You have a choice, you decide. THIS. ;)

How long can a human hold his/her promise with just hope and sheer willpower?

Watched the last episode of BBT Season 1, yes, I now have the time to complete watching my downloaded bunch of TV series. So there was this really interesting thing that intrigued me. The theory of the Schrödinger's cat. Had a mind blown moment there. And it may have answered some doubts I have too. Hah

Check it out! :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HCOE__N6v4o (the scene)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IOYyCHGWJq4 (the explanation)

It's been long since I checked the blog's stats. Very frequent visits by someone from Singapore, who uses a Mac, and surfs using Chrome. Hmm I wonder, who is that person who keeps reading my blog. Thank you for reading it though, it's nothing much actually, just about stuff that happens in my life, that's all.  Really appreciate it so much to whoever that is! ♥

Qada and Qadar

Essentially, destiny is what Allah has decreed. Allah has knowledge of everything in His creation. Nothing occurs except by His will. Human beings are given free will, and it must be made clear that destiny does not have a cause-and-effect influence on the choices humans make. The choices that humans make are all within Allah's knowledge.

In mathematics, the letters x and y are one of the most recognised letters in any equation. So what if the equation has x,y and also z inside? You obviously need to eliminate z because it is unwanted and makes the equation confusing. And that is the sad truth, because z had to be 0 which helped to make x and y, the final answer.

Today was pure awesome. USS with classmates is really a different experience. The kacau kacau, the lepak lepak, the merepek merepek, the stuff you don't get to do in school. Hahaha oh how I really appreciate those moments just now. :')

But why?

Sometimes I wonder, why do I even try to be really tolerant with a lot of things? Hockey was a major one, some of them already lost interest and I still wanted to be in but obviously the talented ones get through. And other stuff too which is quite a handful to list. It's a natural reaction that I cannot help it and I don't know how to put it to good use. Meh :/

Get married at the age of 25. That's my dad's wish. So that means, I have 7 years left of my singlehood. Oh no no no, 5, because of NS. That's fast man... So many things to do in such a small amount of time. Travel overseas, do wacky stuff and enjoy life. :/

Fun day with babat boy and chinese boy today. Hehe

I have to admit that I am devastated and also relieved by the results at the same time. Getting a D for that module was understandable because of the way I prepared for it and yeah, it was inevitable that a pass was what I wanted the most. Sadly, the modules I thought I would get at least an A, didn't turn out as expected. Such false hope and maybe over achieving goals did not help too. 3 semesters have passed and the results just get even worse every time. Honestly, after receiving the results, I really felt lost, insecure and empty. Partly because it was my fault too for not being serious as I thought I would, for the semester. And this morning, I was greeted by a call by somebody, someone who believed in me and gave me hope that I can still make it throughout the remaining time I have in polytechnic. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it. :)

Results tomorrow and I really hope it comes out good. If the target is not reached, then, goodbye world... Nah kidding. Heh

I feel so lost that I keep daydreaming whenever I have free time. And this is bad because it leads me to think of things that doesn't even exist or happen. Such great pains of analysts like me, situation of different outcomes keep being replayed in our heads and being analysed upon. In a nutshell, it's called overthinking. So yeah, we try to think for the best of others yet for ourselves too, which ultimately makes us a confused person. Such a sad life we live.

Neither here nor there.

O really?

Advice of the week, 'to take it slow'. Hmm okay then. See how it goes...

The guy who tried too hard to impress.

Always have this tendency to over analyse things and sometimes underestimate things. When can I get really right? :/

With this certain personality that I possess, there's obviously an advantage and disadvantage. It comes as a package, so yeah. Well I seem to have portrayed both pros and cons just now. I hope there's something to fix the not so good emotions but no, I don't seem to have any idea how. Maybe that happened because it was too extreme on one side and it had to be balanced with the extreme of another to ensure balance. That's how life works right? To be moderate in everything and anything you do.

During these years, there have been 3 major insults towards me by a person that I don't even hate, that is just hard to forgive. It's either the ego or the devil in me that just makes me refuse to do forgive it just like that. Well, that's life.

I wonder if you'll still love me now like you said you did, in the future... I'm not fully convinced though. Hmm :/ Is it right to have these doubts or maybe it's too early to tell?

Isolation mode activated. Bye bye everyone. Don't miss me. (I doubt anyone do though...)

So does that mean one of my quotes in life did work? The 'wait till competition dies' thingy.  Hahaha oh well, I really am amazed by it. Maybe I can apply it to some other things too. Heh. Now the move is made, the question I should tackle now is, 'What's next Aziz?'  :)

It's been long since I blogged. Due to the numerous amounts of projects and tests, I had no time here. And sadly, the isolation moment is gonna arrive soon. So yeah. See yall when I see yall. Have a great Ramadhan! :)

Maybe, all these while, I didn't even phase out from it at all.

Cheers to 2000 pageviews! Thank you all human, spam bots and passerbys. This totally made my day! :D

Crazy things happen and they always happen with a reason. Treat is as a test and hope for the best. Maybe the experience will slightly change my life, but it will never change me totally. The spirit in me will never stop trying to make me awesome.  :)

Time to reflect.

I think the worst feeling I ever had is when my heart starts aching terribly when I think about stuff that I shouldn't have even think of. It's bad. Real bad. I have to like pause for 5 secs to regain my composure and then it's ok. Haiz why do I always inflict these kinds of damages to myself. Maybe it's a sign that I worry too much or even worst, deluding myself from the obvious fact that it already happened. Cmon Aziz, what done is already done, fight for the future. No one would understand it, except yourself. I hope this doesn't keep repeating at random times during the day.

Sometimes you fail to take care of yourself while in the midst of helping others. I think that's what I'm facing right now. So many people's problems settled except mine. Being too helpful and caring is bad. Or is that the wrong thing to say?

Terukir di bintang, tak akan hilang, cintaku padamu.

Nice song with lyrics that really mean a lot.

Malay songs are the best.

July's already here and I still act like nothing is happening. Such a wrong time to be relaxing. MST results show that I am in fact the last in the rat race. Well, that is demoralising because I used to be the top and *snap* suddenly you're behind all of your peers. Some motivation could be good right now but I think I'm really getting none right now so yeah, that sucks. Self-motivation is all I have but without self discipline, it's pointless. Time to get back to square one. I hope there's less distractions this time round.

Every time I listen to Payphone, it always has a different meaning. It's like every replay is for different emotions to flow in the body. wow.

You have a key and a locked treasure chest. The key does not fit into the lock on the chest. What do you do next? Find a new key or find another locked treasure chest? You decide and explain your answer if you manage to meet me. Have a good day ahead. :)

So close yet so far.

The Protocol. Always stay within it. Nobody gets hurt. Nobody gets angry. Everyone is safe and sound with whatever they have. This is the reality so I don't get hurt. Good night. :)

People talk about patience, but do you know what is real patience? It means to really wait for something that is really worth it, with hope. I've been waiting for some things for years. So, there is still hope.

The journey starts now. Good luck to myself. I know I can do this
 Insyaallah.

So today, a close of friend of mine has gone to Umrah. Gonna miss her a lot. Ok put that aside. A journey for her to be closer to God and experience something extraordinary. I feel like embarking on my own journey too before the start of school. Maybe, the Ledang trip could be the journey that I feel could change my life. Or maybe the Perkasa camp. Or maybe something else. One journey to reshape my life yet again.

To be elite, you have to be pro. To be pro, you have to be elite. To be both? Neh, only one person currently holds this title. EL1T3PR0 signing off.

Oh hey, I've found myself blogging in the midst of my really busy holiday. It looks like my 3 weeks of hols is like reduced to a couple of days. Firstly chalet, then ledang trip, then perkasa camp. It's really taxing and also not forgetting the super hardcore hockey training and maybe some friendlies with other polys coming up too. Not much to write about though except one, the shocking moment where I attended the perkasa briefing as a faci and ended up being the overall in charge of the whole camp. IT'S THAT SHOCKING till my body felt numb awhile. I hope I can do my best and prove my worth. Insyaallah :) That's all folks. *message end*

Alright everyone. I'm back from camp. WHAT AN AWESOME CAMP IT WAS. From the start of the night activity to the end of the next day. Countless dramas, tears being shed, scoldings by us and also funny moments. Ahh well, it was more like a catch up session with the JC peeps and also to be together as Xfactors once again. Love these people so much. :'D <3

What a nonsensical pic with all the middle fingers by some of the guys. But hey, this is at 4am in the morning so yeah. Love all of them to bits <3

Oh well. There's no point arguing about it. Point taken and being reflected on. As long semua bahagia dah boleh. Aku kan siape. I am a loner. Have a good weekend. :)

No matter how good everything is going. There are always 2 sides. No one will be neutral. There's no such thing as neutrality in a war where a lot of things are at stake. Choose a side, get a weapon and fight the battle with pride.

Sometimes humans are really a hassle to deal with. I mean this generally. So that is why I prefer technology to them. Look at the computers or laptops, they seem so happy doing their daily tasks and such. Maybe I'm turning into a tech zombie. Oh no. :(

Not supposed to break the isolation rule but oh well just did it. Last paper tomorrow. And then have to rush to complete design project. And oh yes SLC! :B Can't wait!

Deep thinking post.

Sometimes a person who completes a puzzle set from the box of jumbled up puzzle pieces may not get to keep his masterpiece. It's either that the item is bought by someone or being hung up for the world to see and being admired at.

Today was really an AWESOME DAY! No kidding man! From the cake part to the PS3 part then till now. Actually to be honest, I spent 1/3 of the day studying. Oh well, really sucks to have tests within a week of your birthday.  >:(  Never mind lah. It was all part of the glorious day I had, so I don't care. Heh. Ok bye bye. Tired boy is tired.

AND NOT TO FORGET. DRIVING! HEH HEH :B KBAI

So today I turn 18. Well, it means that a new year soon to be filled with much more challenges and adventure for me. I hope I can change for the better, even better from the previous year. Insyaallah. Amin. :)

Time to go into isolation mode. For the sake of MSTs, for the sake of my future. Serious shit here bruh. Bye.

Recited Yasin with family. Said some doa before I started. For my heart to be at ease amidst all these problems and also to be a good son in the family. Insyaallah. :')

Trust no one.

Hey guise, look what I got today. Short post today. Workload is crazy shit. Really appreciate the gift! :)

Cookies, mmmdappp

Meow meow

Everything is in a mess and the only one who can sort it all out is me. But what am I doing now? Wasting away time and much more. Even now as I type, it is a waste of time but it's ok. This is an exception. Haiz. I need motivation but where do I find it? The phone and the bag are my mum's attempt of giving me a boost of motivation but I feel that it is not enough. Yes, I know it is unfair for her. Maybe I need a push. It may happen sooner or later. I hope it is the former.

Bear loves honey. Honey is owned by bees. Bees don't like bear. When the bear attacks the hive, it is natural instinct that bees protect their most valuable asset. Moral of the story here: We do not disturb people's property. It will get you in lots of trouble. Thus, we should leave it alone.

Erm, about the bear. Maybe it should just eat other stuff like berries and such. Heh.

So the inevitable happened. People do change. It's really scary. I am tired of that kind of nonsense.

New chapter

Today was really a good day! Had a really wonderful chat/catch up session with my old 'friend'. Pardon the pun there. Kidding ok? It was really really the miracle that I hoped for and also I didn't know the ball was in my court. :P Overall, I'm really thankful that we all sorted it out and everything ended well. :)

Seems familiar ain't it?

SPIB also gerek ah. Like the cold war era just ended and now the freedom of speech is back. Cheybah like real ah Aziz. And I can't really tank the last part of the class when Ustaz just had to use examples that really were some sort of true for me. Mannn, that guy is really good at reading people or maybe he is just plain lucky. Heh. Meanwhile, we are trying to get back the dominance that we had back in the old days. So yeah, move over people, here comes the champs. Jeng jeng. By the way, the word of the day today for me is: acceptance. ;)

Always being the bad guy. How I hate it so much. It's never ending. When can I be the good guy? Hmph

Maybe it's for your own good. High hopes are dangerous. Sorry if I didn't explain at all. I just couldn't.

And neither did I have the intention to abandon somebody that fast. Maybe it was because of certain elements that didn't match or I really had no interest of anybody at this moment of time. Why do I always get into trouble? Maybe it's because I wanted something that I couldn't even control. This proves why attention is dangerous and not to be taken lightly of. How foolish of me to be craving for it.

Situation is really screwed up now. It's a mess that I myself created. Well done Aziz, you've managed to f-ed up your life.

Got myself a new bag today!

Today's my bro's birthday! HAPPY BIRHTDAY! dah besar budak RI ni. heh

Really bad day. Resetted the Galaxy Nexus 3 times. First is because my damn bro just had to spam the pin code lock until the phone is really inaccessible. The other 2 is because haiz nvm lah.  3 FREAKING TIMES IS REALLY BAD ENOUGH. GRRRRRRR

Pics of the day!

Such a beautiful sunrise

My big fish!

Handshum boi :P

Me and Zul in a crazeh pose

This one not so crazy, with Dol

Sudden rain!

Overall catch

Lunch and then headed home

:)

The number 1 disease that is spreading in these colleges is not HIV, but ignorance - Andy Bernard (The Office)

Heyho. I love hockey. Kthxbai.

Seriously gotta buck up on my studies. Haiz. Really hate it when I get too relaxed and don't pay attention in some lectures or tutorials. Wake up Aziz, this is year 2, not year 1 anymore.

Karaoke with the gang just now. First time and I really loved it. The feeling is fantastic when you scream at old Malay rock songs. (Y) Oh and I suddenly sang 'Jangan Pernah Berubah' alone, I really didn't know what made me sing that, but heck, it sounded awesome. :)

100th post for this blog. New achievement. So yeah. Today my class went ice skating. Really fun because it is literally the whole class except for some douches. Heh.

   

And yeah..... TONIGHT IS DERBY DAY! MANCHESTER CITY TILL I DIE! :D

Strange stats again. Is it true that people are visiting my blog using iPhones? Awww, this shit has gone mobile mannn. Hehehe. Thank you whoever who visits here using their iPhones. *bighug* :'D

Had my first ever blood donation. hehehe so cool and awesome! :D yeah that's all. heh

Vanquish your fears.

It's like a nightmare that keeps repeating all over again.

I am what I am.  Therefore I will be what I will be. Thus I became what I became

You turned your back on tomorrow
Cause you forgot yesterday
I gave you my love to borrow
But just gave it away
You can't expect me to be fine
I don't expect you to care
I know I've said it before
But all of our bridges burned down

Well well well, what have we here? Heh heh

Why resort to this? I really don't know the reason. Maybe it's pure hate...

The greatest enemy is always yourself. It applies in whatever thing you do, be it in studies or playing sports. Even you yourself can be the greatest obstacle towards your own success. How terrible.

When enemies become your friends and friends become your enemies, you know that something has really gone wrong. Totally.

New day. New challenges. New York. K that was lame. Hahahaha. I think I'm beginning to lose my funny side. Oh well, should I be worried? I don't know. Maybe being funny is not the main focus right now.

A brand new year awaits. Time to really show what you are truly capable of. Forget the past, focus on the future. Good luck!  :)

A brand new school term awaits. What surprises does it hold? Hmmm

Today was an awesome day. Okay, seriously I have to stop using the word awesome. I'll just summarise all of the things that happened today.

Flag Day; ok ok. Well what do you expect from it? I know it's good to help people but it's really tiring to stand and put a big smile to people rejecting your request of charity.

Training; FANTASTIC. My respect for Syahied really increased. I mean, he is like telling his stories and it's really amazing that he made it this far. If not for him, I think SP hockey would really suck to the max. So yeah.

Freshman party session (short one); was really having mixed feelings bout it, I mean like it's something you would expect from a night club. It looks fun but scary at the same time.  I think it's good, I didn't participate much, it is really like clubbing or what I think it was and everybody there was really jumping, dancing, grinding, etc etc. I really felt uncomfortable there and I don't really know why. And because there were some of my friends, I just danced along for like 10 minutes and made my way home.

Been blogging things that are a paragraph short. Maybe its because I'm quite busy these days but never mind, short and sweet is also good too! :D and yeah, ice skating was epicly fun. Wish we could do this someday again.

One word; AWESOME! :D

FOP was great. Met some new people. Especially some chicks. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh if only I knew their names. Now I have to just wait for tomorrow and try my luck again. But seriously, she is so cute that I'm afraid she has a boyfriend already. LULZ. Aziz aziz... ape ni cari perempuan. haish. BELAJAR LAH. see, I'm talking to myself again. this is really scary.

Exactly one year ago. I remember this day. This exact time. (okay, maybe not. plus minus 45 minutes :P) Ah... those memories will always be remembered. :')

I simply love Mr Faydzully's classes. There's not only tajwid, but also Fiqh and some Hadith or a remider from the Prophet Rasulullah (p.b.u.h). It really helps to increase my Islamic knowledge and to improve myself for the Afterlife. So now I have SPIB and this. 2 out of 7 days reserved for Islamic classes. Seems a bit unfair but I think, in time to come, I need to make it at least 3 out of 7 days. Yeah. Sounds like a good plan. :)

This song is so meaningful. The lyrics are so deep.

Sometimes, I contradict myself. Looking at my blog title, 'One Life, Life Wisely', a wise phrase, but if I don't act exactly like it should then I am just wasting away my life. God forgive me.

Today, I think I have truly lost a great friend. A friend who has been all along been with me,supporting me, and has done so much more yet I am so blinded to see the beauty of it. I don't think I deserve this friendship because I have done so much damage up to the point that it is beyond repair.  You may think that I'm a jerk because of all what I did and I finally realised that, I am one. Sorry is really overused right now but I would like to say it again from the bottom of my heart. I am honestly sorry for everything. Truthfully, it's disappointing to see it end this way but if this is the only way, then I should take my leave. After all this while, all the memories and I am really thankful for all that. If there is hope, I am really willing to preserve it, but if there isn't then I bid my farewell. Goodbye. :'/

The day when EL1T3PR0 falls is the saddest day in my gaming history. The finest hour is approaching. He will now give his last battle cry, "HOOAH"!

Because 2012 will be the year of tech. I promised myself it will be and so it will be then. Let the money flow. Macam real je Aziz. heh

Cheers to a 1000 pageviews. I doubt most of them are actual humans. LOL. So yeah, funny things happen when life is getting good. Maybe that's how it rolls in life. Oh well.

Swordfish - S (there's 2)
Guillotine - G
Maelstrom - (not sure yet)

Because these operations are real, Swordfish, Guillotine and Maelstrom. Inspired from Battlefield 3. Carried out in real life, okay maybe not what they did in the game but I like the naming.

Hockey trainings are always awesome. I love hockey. Hahahaha. But seriously, there's something about it that I find interesting and I don't know what is it. Must be the burning passion. :P

Sometimes the only thing that can calm me down all the time is technology. Be it fixing computers or just reading about some gadget or even watch a video of an unboxing of some gadget, could make me so happy that I forget all my problems. I'm weird that way. Geekily weird. :3

And may the odds be ever in your favor.

I think this week is by far one of the worst weeks I've ever had in 2012.

Haiz. Sometimes it's just not easy because no one understands.

LAUGH OUT LOUD LIKE SERIOUSLY. HAW HAW HAW.

I sense something is a amiss. Why? Because, of the random call. That's why. And I believed I handled the call quite professionally. Straight to point followed by a 'bye'. That's how it should be now because we are friends and friends do that. Heh.

You shoot me down but I won't fall. I am titanium. :)

Respect the decision and move on like a gentleman. Such a nice quote that I made up by myself. :)

Results are out and boy, they were so horrible that I couldn't even think how did I even score like that. Haiz

Dota 2 is AWESOME. There goes my holidays... PS3 and games. :P

I need something to make me totally overcome this feeling. I act like I have accomplished it but in reality, it's really different.

Been quietly observing all these while. I may act funny or maybe don't even care at all but the truth is that I just have been observing.

90% phased out. :')

Time for some regeneration. :)

Today, I really feel the need to reflect upon myself. Rethink some events differently. Recalculate some stuff. Basically it's to overturn my life(okay not so dramatic) back to when it was stable. The journey has been rough; the things I've encountered, the moments I've experienced, the things that I did, and so on. It should come to a halt today. Simply because, there is none to expect in the future. :)

Oh and yes, I really have to thank my awesomest bud, Nurul Farida Ramli for advising me on what to do so that I have the strength to move on. THANKS A LOT DEAR! :D

Don't worry. Be happy.

Phasing out from these crappy stuff is really harder than what I expected. That's why I agree to this. FULLY

Give your heart a break.

I love doing stuff about technology. It keeps my mind away from things. :)

I feel so free and relaxed right now. I really don't know why. It's something that I really crave for. :')

I keep thinking of what you said long time ago. "You both have a lot of similarities". Now I get it... we don't like spicy stuff, we like green, idk maybe some personalities and heck we even got the same bloody phone. Lulz. Nah. I don't want to think of it further.

Be a happy boy. weehee :D

Even if you wish to just ignore me sometimes, I wouldn't even want to take notice because I need to move on. There's no such word to describe my feeling now because I know deep down inside, I wasn't even anything much to you though.

Due to the fact that I am in a withdrawal phase, I may act rashly, weirdly, or even not be myself for a couple of days before my body gets back to my usual form. It's like I've absorbed massive pain and I really need to let it go like instantly before I affect others. :')

Wasted. Such a total waste.

FUN DAY OUT! :D

But what happens when you keep getting the negative stuff that your body itself can even contain? There's always a tendency of breaking down soon enough. And yes, even guys are not immune to it.

I can operate independently. What makes you think that I can't?

Sometimes I feel that I need to help you. But sometimes I don't find it necessary because you are still falling for him yet again. Nevertheless, I chose to help because I promised you that I will help you in your birthday card. If you recall it that is, and also a promise is always a promise.

On another hand, I really feel like meh because I was the one who waited for so long and in the end it's like I wasn't even the person you consider to be with. So maybe it's true about the phrase 'putting all your eggs in a basket' because alas all the eggs will break and thus all your hopes are broken just like the eggs. I don't want to be in that situation at all.

Bring it on! Even though the math paper really kicked my ass. I still have PEEE. And it looks like we have competitor in this interesting race. :)

As they always say, patience is always a virtue. But I'm a bit confused though, will it be just like last time again? Being the pillar of support all the way? I do give a lot of attention but do I get it back equally? That's the golden question I've been asking myself all the bloody time.

Sometimes you don't know how much distracted I am thinking about you always. I really have to learn to let go. It seems that you just, ah I don't even know what word to describe the feeling. It's ok. Move on aziz.

Study study study. That's what I've been doing these past few days. Am I turning into one of those Singaporean mindless studying robots?

Isn't she a gem? :'D

The Elite Revision Program. I am #2705. Chey kiddeng.

Severely demoralised. Help me. Someone.  :/

Today was really an awesome day because I spent my day with my lovely friends that I usually don't get to spend with when on normal days. Sometimes the bond makes me wonder about how I'm being treated when I'm with another batch of close friends. But nevertheless, I just look towards the bright side for now. :)

What now?

When you're left in the lurch, you have no one else to blame except yourself. How sad, after all what I've been through.

Tired. I neglected my blog yet again. Haiz

Getting scolded by parents really suck a lot because they do not understand what I've gone through for the past few days. I guess I have to suck it up then. :'/

And today I found out the truth about you. All the answers that I've been searching has been revealed. I feel so much relieved right now. :) I hope someday you change for the better. Let go of the haunting past and seek the bright future.

All I need are answers. Maybe it doesn't need to come so soon but I hope there's signs to show them.

Nearly 1 week after the event happened. There's still no sign of any salvation of some sort. Haiz, it's just so hard...

I really can't explain today. Firstly, it was quite enjoyable. Then, as the day goes by, I suddenly felt so queasy like an unexplainable feeling because of someone. So then, I kept calm and hoped that it would soon die down but no, things like this usually drag on without the person unknowingly hurting my feelings. I'm at a lost now because she may or may not know that she is confused. I should hear answers and not supposed to be asking questions. Haizz. :S

Sometimes I don't understand you honestly. There are times that I feel you need someone to talk to but then when I ask you say it's ok. I am really confused but wish to help you and I do not know how to start it. It makes me look like a failure to care for you properly.

Just another day where City lost to United. I'm too distraught to even summarise about the match. But our boys played their hearts out. So CTID! :D

Today I learnt a lot. Every week I learn so much more than before. Tawadu' lebihkan. Takabbur kurangkan. :)

Somehow I feel really unappreciated by the person I quite appreciate a lot.

I admit, I indeed failed to prove myself that I am the one who should strive for this paper to avenge the ghost of the past Amath paper for the O levels. One more shot left, the end of year paper. The one to prove whether I still have the strength to bounce back from defeat. You can do it Aziz.

Tomorrow it's her birthday and here I am still thinking of what to write to her. Been thinking a lot too, like what if she doesn't quite find my present interesting, or whether will she like the card or whether will accept one of the gifts. It's tough but the next day will arrive soon. So I'll just go with the flow.

A long road to go

The journey of a thousand steps begins with the single step.

Fresh new year

Tomorrow marks a new school day. But in polytechnic, the calendar's a bit screwed up so it is technically called term 4 of the second semester. New enemies, new topics, new race for success. And yeah, it's my turn to succeed after laying so low for so long until they have overtaken me. No, no, nobody overtakes Abdul Aziz.